06.08.04
11:56 p.m.
Cake mix & nail files
So a girl walks into a Wal-Mart and asks a nice sales associate to help her....oh, wait...there aren�t any nice sales associates in Wal-Mart.I�ve noticed that the store who shoves the advertising phrase �friendly service� down our throats, is the only place I�ve ever been where the sales people actually roll their eyes at me. I recognize that I�m being a demanding consumer...why should they stop in the middle of their gossiping and ass picking to help me find something?
It�s obvious that Wal-Mart is laid out so any normal person could find everything they need easily. Unfortunately I�m a moron, and I look in irrational places for things. I suppose any reasonable procreator would look for baby food in the infant clothing section (Newborns don�t eat real food � why would it be in the grocery part?), who wouldn�t put the Raid next to the flour, and...yes, I know it makes complete sense to place the bleach on the entirely opposite side of the store from the laundry soap. I guess I just don�t follow the logical way of thinking. I mean, it�s perfectly clear that any sane person would assume, �Those damn ants keep getting into the bathroom. The Raid must be in aisle two with the sugar.�
Fortunately for idiots like me, they sell an aisle by aisle map of your local Wal-Mart store � conveniently packaged with software to help plan your shopping excursions. I�m thinking of investing in their stock. It�s bound to be a big seller.
If you haven�t already concluded that I went to Wal-Mart today...can I ask you where they keep the nail files? I�m thinking maybe next to the locks? Possibly by the cake mix in case you need to bake one in a cake for your baby�s daddy?
I�m trying people...I really am.
